Women ask me all the time, “Raeeka – what’s the secret to dating success?” Well, it’s not a secret, but here’s a blueprint to get you started.The ones who work on becoming the best versions of their authentic true selves are the ones who find the man of their dreams. Now you might read this and think it’s just another woo woo blog post by a life coach. I know what I’m worth, I take good care of my body, I exercise and eat well, and I take care of my appearance.” Well, while all of that is awesome and very important, those make up just a tiny portion of self love. For example, you got a promotion at work or you were praised for your leadership of your team in the office.Self esteem deals with our ability to relate through our skills and achievements.Here are some examples of things you might be doing: Limiting Your Beliefs Being a “Yes” Person Needing to be Right Assigning Everything to Black or White – No Grey Area Giving without Setting Boundaries Constant Over-Analyzing Saying You’re Available When You’re Stuck in the Past Having Unrealistic Expectations These and so many more things keep women from really being able to invest fully in dating successfully, and that can keep you from being able to have a great relationship.Almost everyone has a relationship story from the past that hangs in their minds, if not many…Draw a line, step over it, and be done with the past.Once they put a new female mouse in, lo and behold, he suddenly had energy again (go figure! But back to our mice, I think that experiment is not only comparable to dating but especially online dating, particularly ones that don’t take too much effort like Tinder (yuk! Tinder is full of very accomplished men, as I experienced recently, and actually someone wrote an article about it recently, that it was busy men on there looking for some short term companionship.Apparently, they are too busy for online dating so this is the next best thing.
FRUSTRATED Tameka Butt wants to be on the pitch for Australia on Sunday with just a point needed to qualify for the 2015 World Cup after a recurring ankle injury forced her out of the Matildas’ win on Friday.You can learn from it but you can’t live in it, and bringing it with you into a new relationship never helps.Bringing the past along doesn’t protect you, and really it’s just going to keep you from being available and getting a fresh start.Respect your choice of being single, which is not an act of desperation.You are single because you have chosen not to be with just any man. Practice anchoring and reminding yourself that you have choices. Know Your Needs Know your negotiables and non-negotiables, and own them with softness without getting feisty or feeling like you need to be defensive about what you want.A conversation with one of my friends today made me realize that it’s the novelty that they are looking for.